The Shape of a Mommy: Physically and Mentally

If you haven't seen the new and wonderful site-The Shape of a Woman yet then I ask you to do so. It will really move you, bring you to tears, and possibly motivate you to contribute. This new blog has really motivated me to write about my shape. I don't think I'm ready to post my physical shape yet but maybe soon I will be able to. I am, however, ready to talk about something that has been on my mind for years and that is my mental shape.
We as mommies are all shaped physically different. Of course, before we received our "Mommy shape" we had our "Foxy Lady" shape, you know the cute, tight bottom that caught your partners eyes or your sweet, firm bosom that hypnotized him. With pregnancy, age(slow metabolism) and being the tired mommy that we often are, we gain the extra pound here and there and really have a challenging time getting it off.
What about the mental shape we had prior to mommyhood and what happens to it after we have babies? I personally know that my mental shape was "okay". I really never thought about my mental health (Not to say I'm a wreck or anything...Maybe just need some therapy, but don't we all?).
To make a very long story short, I was molested as a child (ouch!), I started to emotionally eat causing me to be overweight (double Ouch) and I had Alopecia Areata (a highly unpredictable, autoimmune skin disease resulting in the loss of hair on the scalp and elsewhere on the body). So, okay you can imagine my mental shape. Although I state some events That effected me in my childhood in this post it still hurts a little but I consider this a bit of therapy, so it's a good thing.
My hair grew in by my 6th or 7th birthday but you can imagine the comments by friends, relatives and especially school kids (oh, school kids can be so honest and mean :-( ). I often pushed away thoughts and feelings of my insecurities. This really affected me though and little did I know how it would come back to me as a new Mother.
Don't get me wrong, I'm okay. I gained a better self esteem later especially in High School after I lost a lot of weight. I still have my little breakdowns though when I think too much. Maybe some of you may be able to relate. I have issues with men, weight, self esteem, respect, and I could go on and on. Maybe it's due to events in my life. Of course it is. We all have these issues.
So this brings to me my point on mental shapes. I believe we are all shaped differently from the events in our lives. The way we dress, live, eat, give birth, parent our children, breastfeed or not breastfeed, the way we handle situations this is all from the way we've been shaped.
So recently my friend Bonnie at the newly famous "The Shape of a Mother" posted my business website on her blog. A couple of women made comments about covering up while nursing and how it defeats her motivating blog that encourages mothers to accept their beautiful bodies. I agree that we should accept our beautiful bodies but it's not always easy to do this. I do not hold any bad feelings towards these women but only want to address the issue.
Many women do have issues showing their bodies, postpartum areas (lower back, belly, sides and also to mention the big great boobies that nourish our babies) and choose to cover up while breastfeeding. Why should this be viewed as a negative thing? Shouldn't we all be trying to unite, motivate and encourage women to do the one thing that has created a movement? BREASTFEEDING. This is what we need to focus on. Gently support those mommies who will breastfeed in public no matter what way they may do so. If they feel the need to cover with any product, blanket or shawl then they should as long as they feel comfortable doing it. I personally look at women who do not have to cover up with respect and also as liberating. I appreciate these women, for without them much change would not have occurred for all women.
I have to stand strong and represent the many women who can not go out in public and breastfeed for their own personal struggles with their mental issues though.
For the mommy I saw at the mall, when I saw you, you were nursing your newborn baby at a bench and you looked very insecure. I smiled at you with what I hoped would be strengthening and you glanced away. I approached you to tell you how great you were for breastfeeding in public and you then told me all of your feelings towards public breastfeeding. You were embarrassed and could not believe that you were doing what you were doing, that your friend accompanying you was embarrassed that you were nursing in public and she had a baby the same exact age as your baby but she ONLY nursed at home and thought that you should too. You were a bit nervous and closed your eyes for a second as if you wished your feelings could go away or maybe you were wishing away the people you thought were starring at you....For you I write this. I wonder what shaped you to feel this way and I only know that you are not alone.
For all women who need strength to do what is so natural and beneficial I write this. All women need to support one another in this breastfeeding movement in any way she feels comfortable. The important emphasis should be only BREASTFEEDING.
With so much peace and respect.

Happy Nursing and Happy Transitioning to your New Life,
Evie Ballesteros